Stardust in a Jar
by 815
Summary: "Star people are rare. You'll be lucky to meet another." — story collection
1. Stargirl

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Stargirl_ by Jerry Spinelli.

**Summary:** "Star people are rare. You'll be lucky to meet another." ( story collection)

**Story:** She was walking in the desert one night, looking up at the sky.

* * *

_Kevin jumped in. "So… you change your name whenever you get tired of it?"_

"_When it doesn't fit anymore. I'm not my name. My name is something I wear, like a shirt. It gets worn, I outgrow it, I change it."_

"_So why Stargirl?"_

"_Oh, I don't know." She petted Cinnamon's nose with her fingertip. "I was walking in the desert one night, looking up at the sky – like," she chuckled, "how can you _not_ look up at the sky! – and it just sort of came to me, fell on to me." _

* * *

It came to her when she first stepped foot in the desert.

She was looking for enchanted places in her new home.

Hullygully ate dinner like everyone else. She ate it with her family just like everyone else. After she was done, she walked out of the house as her mother collected the dishes on the table to wash them. When her mother asked where she was going, she turned to her and gave her the smile she always wore on her face.

"I'm going to look for enchanted places."

"It's dark out. Are you sure?"

The girl paused before nodding. "I'm sure."

Her mother told her to be home before it gets too late and she agreed.

* * *

It was nightfall when she made her way out of her neighborhood and on the road. In all honesty, Hullygully did not know where she was going. People often say to "follow your heart" or "listen to what your heart is saying." Hullygully did both of these things as she walked. She did both of these regularly every day, even though she probably didn't realize it and neither did the people who surrounded her.

Hullygully did both of these things at the same time.

The girl walked among the stores, reaching into the highway. She saw the edges of the desert that day, but she had turned around to walk back because it was getting late.

She didn't find her enchanted place that day.

* * *

The next day, in the afternoon, Hullygully made her way back to the highway.

This time, she kept going forward.

She felt as if she was stepping into unknown territory. Her first real connection with the sands of the sun, the cactuses of the rain. In the sun she felt the sunflower on her canvas bag bloom and shimmer with the desert heat – the desert sun. The bag felt light on her shoulder and in the midst of it all, she took up her ukulele and began to strum it. Soon, she began to sing along to a melody she did not know, with a beat she did not recognize.

She went up to a cactus and sang to it, briefly fingering a red flower that was blooming on its arm. She skipped and she danced, her head thrown back to the blue sky singing as loud as she could because she knew that no one in the world could hear her except the cactuses, the sand, and the sun.

And then Hullygully got quiet.

The strumming of the ukulele and her singing stopped. Slowly, she took her canvas bag off and placed it down lightly on the ground. And then, walking a little ways away from it, she sat down and crossed her legs in an Indian-style. She closed her eyes and lifted her face up to the sky, thinking… waiting.

Disappearing.

She goes through a myriad of different ways she could erase herself in this moment – this place. She tried the eraser method, feeling the connection with the ground and the air and the sun, slowly fading away every time the eraser brushed past her hands and feet, feeling them slowly dissolve into nothing. She shut down her thoughts after her senses were gone, forgetting about what happened to her after fourteen years of living.

Hullygully sat down in golden silence before her eyes opened once more. She picked up her belongings and left the desert once more.

She wasn't sure if she found her enchanted place that day.

* * *

Days passed and Hullygully found herself going back to the desert. The nighttime was when she felt the desert was more alive. The cactuses cast a shadow on the ground in the setting desert sun and the sands shifted with the wind and the rays of it ricocheting off of the Maricopa mountains in the distance. The movements pieced together like a song of the desert and Hullygully even took out her ukulele to strum and hum along. She did it lightly so as not to disturb the harmony that the matter already connected with one another.

And then it rained.

There was only a small moment of surprise that emitted from Hullygully, but then she smiled. She stopped strumming the ukulele and made her way over to the exact same spot that she had gone to on her first day to the desert and the other days afterwards. She put her possessions gently on the ground and then began to dance among the raindrops.

That's when she heard the croaking.

The mud frogs that lay buried underneath the ground sprung up like a flower blooming once more after winter had passed. Hullygully had paused to observe them for just a moment until all of the frogs began to croak. At first they were all uneven beats and sounds but as time passed their sounds began to mingle and join with one another. Canons and rounds began to form, low notes and high notes began to mesh, dancing off of the sun and the rain and the cactuses all at once.

And Hullygully began to dance to the sounds that they were making, getting lost in the music of natural sounds and voices, closing her eyes as if doing so intensified the sound and the unity between their rhythm and beating hearts.

But as she finally opened her eyes to the sky, they landed on the stars in the heavens and in the rain she smiled. She became still and she felt that the stars were falling on her although they were mere drops of rain from a rare rainfall in a place called Arizona.

And she felt the world fall on to her as the rain began to slowly stop and the voices of the mud frogs began to diminish one by one. The word whispered to her in the desert wind and she reached her hands up to the sky as if tracing the word she heard in the sky using the stars.

_Stargirl._

"My name is Stargirl."

* * *

**A/N.** I'm re-reading _Stargirl_ again and I found out why I enjoy writing stories about it now. Some points of the book are so clear, yet vague at the same time leaving a lot of room for reader imagination and such. This is one thing that I kind of thought about after reading it for the first time. I'm not saying that this is what happened exactly, but… Well, you know. I know Cinnamon is kind of missing from the whole picture, but I kind of wanted the whole thing to focus on one character - Stargirl.


	2. The Later Life of Peter Sinkowitz

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Stargirl_ by Jerry Spinelli.

**Summary:** "Star people are rare. You'll be lucky to meet another." ( story collection)

**Story: **He had time and he flipped through the pages and the photographs, all of them showing the faces of himself.

* * *

"_No," I said. "I don't think so. And anyway, don't you think his parents are doing that? Family albums and all?"_

_One of the little girls managed to wrest the banana roadster away from Peter Sinkowitz. Peter started howling._

"_I'm sure they are," she said, snapping another picture. "But those pictures and those moments are posed and smiling. They're not as real as this. Someday he's going to love this picture of himself bawling while a little girl rides off in his toy. I don't follow him around like Clarissa. I just keep an eye out for him, and a couple of times a week I jot down what I saw him doing that day. I'll do it for a few more years and then I'll give it to his parents to give to him when he's older and ready to appreciate it." _

* * *

You hear a mutter of voices from the other side of the door. You recognize them to be that of your parents and the other one... the other one...

Who was the other one?

For the summer you had flown back to Arizona and, after making a call on the pay phone to your girlfriend over in New York, you drove in the car you rented all the way back down to the town of Mica. You had bought yourself a slice of pizza before making your way over back to the old neighborhood where you used to live as a kid. Your parents greeted you as always and you silently think to yourself - hoping that the vacation will pass quickly because you needed to get back to the city soon to do more work at the office.

Today was the third night since you came back.

The door shifts and you quickly hop back on the small bed you owned when you were a kid, hastily picking up your copy of _The Odyssey_ from the floor in a graceful motion. The door opens and your parents find you sitting on your bed, your head snuggled into the pillows with the book propped open in front of you. They look at each other hesitatingly before looking back at you and handing you a thick album.

"Who was that?" you ask them, ignoring the object that they're handing you. "A new neighbor or something?"

"You remember Archie, don't you sweetheart?" your mother says, sitting down at the foot of your bed. "You used to go over to his house on Saturdays, remember?"

"_He_ was here?" you ask, surprised. You sit up quickly. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've said hi or something."

"He was busy today, son," your father says. "You'll have time to visit him tomorrow. Meanwhile he... uh..." He looks over at your mother before continuing. "He... gave us this to give to you."

You take it without even thinking about it. "Oh yeah?" you say. "What is it?"

"Careful, Peter," your mother chides you. "Whoever did that -"

"- Had a lot of time on their hands," your father finishes.

"Harry!" Your mother stands up and punches him lightly on the shoulder before turning to you. "That's not what he meant, Peter... It's just..." She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "It's just that... it was unexpected... You'll see soon enough. Let's go, Harry." The two of them leave and you're left with the album in your hands.

* * *

It's past midnight when you finally open the album.

It started with a bad dream. It wasn't the first dream you had. It was the common at-your-office-and-working type of dream where the boss ends up firing you no matter what you do and your girlfriend ditches you because, "You're not good enough for me anymore." Stress had built up in you after leaving Mica as you were swarmed with exams, and then job interviews, and then doing your job quickly and accurately.

You look at the clock beside you and rub your eyes. You turn on the lamp which turns out to be a very bad idea as your eyes are blinded as they're engulfed in the bright light in the room. It takes you awhile to adjust to the bright atmosphere and when you finally do, you turn the knob down slowly to dim it.

The best cure for this nightmare of yours was to always go down and get a glass of water and get something to eat... or whatever. You don't really know what you did, but it never really worked. Either way, no matter what you did, it always seemed to rush back to you - almost like the dream. You'll get fired anyway no matter what you do. No matter what.

You're rubbing your eyes again, trying to get rid of the migraine that seemed to shoot into your brain. That's when you look at the night stand beside you and spot the album.

_Oh_, you think, _what the heck. Don't have anything else better to do._

You reach to the album and open it to a random page.

You see yourself.

And then you're gaping. You're gaping at a picture of you bawling your head off... You couldn't be more than eight - no. No, you were five. Memories rush back to you as you look down at the caption, the letters written precisely in a straight line.

_Peter Sinkowitz, age 5, bawling as the banana roadster is taken hostage from him from two girls._

You run the sentence over with your finger and even read it out loud to yourself. "Peter Sinkowitz, age five, bawling as the banana roadster is taken hostage from him from two girls..." You feel as if you were teleported back in time after whispering those words and your fingers move to the picture and you slowly trace the edge with your finger. You can hear the laughter and the scream and then, finally, your cry. You can taste the tears as they slowly drift down to your lips and then... then...

You laugh.

You laugh for all it's worth and you can't even remember how long it has been since you laughed this hard - your head thrown back in delight. And your smile. You can't even begin to recall how long it has been since you could feel the edges of your smile go to the edge of your face and beyond.

And then you immerse yourself in the album, starting from the first page and reaching the middle. The night is filled with your laughter as you remember the names that were lost of your childhood. Amanda... Suzie... The Rodriguez twins. They come all at once and fill your mind with bad times, sad times but, most of all, good times.

After your laughing has died you flip to the end of the book, looking for a name - anything to tell you who made this album for you. Who took a picture of you when you were five.

But you find no name. You find no address, no means of credit.

All you see are two symbols. A stick-figure drawing of a girl with a star hastily drawn at its side. The first word that comes to you is -

"Stargirl."

You say the name out loud and you wonder if that was the person that did this for you. And then, reaching back into your mind you remember a sandy-haired girl watching from the distance once with a camera and snapping a picture. When you first saw her you thought it was Suzie's cousin.

But now you realize. Now you remember and realize.

"Stargirl," you say. "Right. So that's your name."

And then you stop looking at the photos in the middle of the album and close it. It's already three o'clock in the morning, but you go under the covers and go to sleep once more.

* * *

The next morning you go to your parents.

"Is it alright if I stay here for another week?"

They're surprised and gaping, but then they're smiling. They say of course and then you say back to them, "I'm glad she had a lot of time on her hands, y'know?"

Your parents are confused. "What?" they say. "What are you talking about?"

"You know," you say to them, drinking your glass of milk. "The one who made the album. Stargirl."

"Ah," they say. At first they exchange disapproving glances from one another, but then they turn back and smile at you as if agreeing with what you're saying. "Yes, you may be right."

And after summer ends and you return to New York you quit your job and you're finally free. Your girlfriend does end up ditching you after all, but you feel so much more alive and so much more full of life than you had been one summer ago. You keep the album with you by your night stand in your apartment and you smile every time you see it.

When you go to sleep, the dreams that you dream of are only the dreams and memories from a younger you and - even when you're asleep - you can feel the smile that stretches across your face as morning comes and you wake up to start a new day.

* * *

**A/N.** Peter Sinkowitz... I always wondered what happened to him afterwards. This is kind of a pre-moment with the More Than Stars chapter at the end of the book when Leo sees someone (who he believes to be Peter) with his yellow Beetle... or something. This was a minor practice with the you-persepective again.

Also, Peter is twenty-five years old in this piece. It should be approximate as I gathered it from the information given in the book.


	3. The Three Pebble Type

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Stargirl_ by Jerry Spinelli.

**Summary:** "Star people are rare. You'll be lucky to meet another." ( story collection )

**Story: "**Three was such a lonely number."

* * *

"_How close to empty did the wagon ever get?" I said._

"_Oh…" She turned her face to the ceiling, closed her eyes. "Once, down to three."_

_I was shocked. "Really? You?"_

_She stared. "Why _not_ me?"_

"_You don't seem the type."_

"_What type is that?" _

* * *

February thirteenth.

Stargirl went to the studio. She toured the rooms where productions took place. She met with a few of the staff, taking Cinnamon out so that the rat could "shake paws" with the people on crew. She peered through the lens of a camera that wasn't even on, waving hi to nobody. She leapt up on the stage in glee, smiling as the lights were turning on.

And that's when she turned to the control room.

She saw him there, that boy she had sung to in the lunchroom during Hillari's birthday. She grinned, but she knew he was most likely working on other things. But still she stood there, in the spotlight, wondering if he would wave hi to her. Wondering if he would thank her for the birthday song that was not meant for him.

But then the doors burst open and she moved away from the spotlight so that the other people could take their seats. She saw the boy, Kevin, setting up his own seat from across another one that was painted with black, red, orange, and yellow paint. She watched as the jury took their seats, turning away from their skeptical looks at her.

They were ready to begin.

But still Stargirl turned back to look up at the control room and she took Cinnamon out again.

"Hi, Leo."

It was meant to be a joke. She laughed as she watched the boy stand there with a blank look on his face.

"Hi Cinnamon," he mouthed.

She felt her heart flutter for a mere moment before being distracted by one of the camera crew.

They were starting.

* * *

Stargirl pulled off more antics during the show.

She pretended she was on a flaming seat.

She let Cinnamon loose to see what would happen.

She told them of her past names.

But sometimes her eye would wander to the control room. She wanted to see him mouth something to her again. She smiled as he laughed. She wondered what name would get the funniest reaction out of him. She answered the questions the jury had, with a grin on her face. She noticed the looks they were giving her, but a smile was contagious.

She felt glad, knowing that the boy in the control room was watching. The stares the jury gave didn't matter anymore. She felt herself let go to everything like always, and then be enveloped in the spotlight and the imaginary flames painted upon her seat. She felt comfortable.

And then everything changed.

* * *

"Do you love your country?"

She had paused at that question. "I'm sorry?"

"I said, do you love your country?"

That's what he had said. Stargirl smiled. "Yes," she said. "Do you love yours?"

"Why don't you say the Pledge of Allegiance right?"

"Sounds right to me."

"Sounds like you're a traitor to me."

That was it. That was it. The moment she began to feel like the spotlight upon her was dimming.

"_You're not just a cheerleader, you dumb cluck, you're supposed to be _our_ cheerleader. A _Mica_ cheerleader."_

"_Okay, here's a question. Why did you quit homeschooling?"_

"I wanted to make friends."

"_Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it, making the whole school mad at you."_

"_And out of school, too. You meddle into everybody's business. You stick your nose in, whether you're invited or not. Why do you do that?"_

She had wanted to reply, but her throat was stuck.

"_I'm gonna tell you something, girl. You're goofy. You're crazy."_

She had wanted to ask what crazy meant.

"_You must've come from _Mars_ or something…"_

She had wanted to ask if she looked like she did.

"_Why don't you go back to where you came from?"_

"_You wanna cheer for other schools? Fine! Go there! Don't come to _my_ school! Get outta _my_ school!"_

"_I know what your problem is. All this weird stuff you do? It's just to get attention."  
_"_It's to get a boyfriend!"  
_"_I've got a simple question for you. What's the matter with you? Huh? _Huh_?"  
_"_Why can't you be normal?"  
_"_Why do you wanna be so different?"  
_"_Yeah – is something wrong with us, you gotta be so different?"_

"_You don't like us, do you? _Do you_?"_

She had wanted to ask them many things.

But she stared into the camera lens instead, wondering if he was watching.

Are you mad at me?  
Am I too nosy?  
Do I look like I'm from Mars?  
Is there something wrong with me?  
Is there something wrong with different?  
Do you like me?

She had wanted to ask him those questions.

"That's it. Show's over."

The spotlight she had once been in was now closed.

She heard many voices but her ears couldn't perceive their words.

She wondered where the boy was. She wondered if he would answer her questions for her.

_Do you like me?_

* * *

Stargirl had sat there for a long time.

The studio was dark.

Nobody bothered to come near her.

But that was okay.

She felt hollow, dug out. She was afraid of going out for the first time. But still she stood and her shadow escorted her out of the studio. She saw the boy by the maple tree that stood outside of the studio, but he began to run away in the opposite direction of her house once he saw her come out.

She felt her heart move faster. She felt time being restored back.

She turned and began to walk home.

Once she had arrived, it was already late. Her parents had been worried, and she smiled at them as always. She brushed the few candy hearts she had bought at the convenient store two blocks away and began to put them in a plastic bag to carry into school tomorrow.

Because, despite everything, everybody needs a little love.

_Yes. That is what they need._

But even though she thought that, when she returned to her room, the happy wagon was the first thing she spotted.

"_You're not just a cheerleader, you dumb cluck, you're supposed to be _our_ cheerleader. A _Mica_ cheerleader."_  
"_Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it, making the whole school mad at you."  
_"_And out of school, too. You meddle into everybody's business. You stick your nose in, whether you're invited or not. Why do you do that?"  
_"_I'm gonna tell you something, girl. You're goofy. You're crazy."  
_"_Why don't you go back to where you came from?"  
_"_You wanna cheer for other schools? Fine! Go there! Don't come to _my_ school! Get outta _my_ school!"  
_"_I know what your problem is. All this weird stuff you do? It's just to get attention."  
_"_It's to get a boyfriend!"  
_"_I've got a simple question for you. What's the matter with you? Huh? _Huh_?"  
_"_Why can't you be normal?"  
_"_Why do you wanna be so different?"  
_"_Yeah – is something wrong with us, you gotta be so different?"  
_

"_You don't like us, do you? _Do you_?"_

Slowly, she took out nine pebbles and placed them to the side.

She had stared at its contents for a long time.

Three was such a lonely number.

* * *

Valentine's Day.

The three pebbles lay miserably inside the wagon for a long time.

Stargirl fumbled with a homemade card she had made months ago… The first time she had saw him. At first she had wanted to leave it anonymous just like all of the gifts she had given out. She wondered if the card she was giving was a gift that she should not receive credit for. She had begun to white out her name written on the back before stopping herself at the last minute.

She wanted him to know.

At school she slipped it inside one of his notebooks.

Days past.

The three pebbles stayed where they were.

* * *

"Hi Leo."

Those were the words she had said to him one day. She wanted to know if he got the card or not. She wanted to know because maybe he could help her answer the questions she had. But he had got up hastily and reached the lunch room doors before she was able to ask him the question, "Did you get it?" properly.

So she stuck with a greeting instead.

But she wondered if he had heard her as he pushed open the doors and went out.

She would've planned to ask him if she had not seen the color of his face.

And then Stargirl smiled.

* * *

He did not walk up to her, did not say anything until she had walked up to his table again during lunch.

She put on a smile on in his presence. "You're welcome," was what she had said.

She remembered how he turned around after moments of silence. But she was willing to wait.

"Thanks for the card."

She had felt her heart soar that day and when she got home, the three pebbles were gone from view as the wagon was filled with eleven more that came in a rush. She had wanted to dump all of the pebbles inside, but she stopped herself at the last minute. To be completely happy was… her thought ended there, but she did not put seventeen in.

_Fourteen._

That was the highest she ever had.

* * *

February fourteenth.

Valentine's Day.

_Because, despite everything, everybody needs a little love._

* * *

**A/N.** Another story that is a bit longer than the rest. I didn't really know how to say Stargirl's thoughts exactly, since she's so out of the ordinary (in a good sense).

She was a little hurt inside, but she can forgive and overcome it easily. These were some characteristics I wanted to use. - laughs - Ah well. I think it came out all right, but it wasn't the idea I started out with in the beginning.

* * *

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed. Or just read.**

**dianalovely1995:** Yes, I have heard of the book, but I have never read it. If I do, I still may not include it in because I always feel that the original is much better.


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